21 complaint free days
Inspiration often comes at the strangest times.
Driving home from a hectic day at work - befuddled by access block, administration and beurocracy - and sweltering in a car with no air conditioning on a 40°C day - I tuned into the only station my car radio is capable of playing without static [720 ABC] and listened to the enigmatic Russell Woolf. Just as I was about to utter my tenth expletive in a row about the 'non-spill' coffee cup that was permitting a gravitational design to be drawn on the freshly cleaned carpet...I heard a caller extoling the virtues of the '21 day complaint free challenge' A wave of calmness temporarily broke the stifling humidity of the cabin - could this be the answer? Only one way to find out...after the RAC had kindly assisted me to restart the overheated car - and 'gently' reinforced the necessity for 'monitoring' the temperature gauge; filling the radiator with water 'every now and again' and enlightened me to the fact that it was indeed a 'very hot day'...I went straight home to trawl the net for more information. Even during the wireless broadband '10 minutes of operating downtime' and throughout the incessant nagging. jibing, tugging, crying and fighting displays of the 'little people' - I still felt the positive surge of the cool breeze generated by my new found knowledge. What information crystals would the pixelated world display? What treasure trove of shared wisdom and pearls of mariners old...ahhh behold the 'bracelet of purple,- MMMmm purpleComplaining is a lot like bad breath - you notice it when it comes out of someone else's mouth, but not so much when it comes out of your own - Rev. Will Bowen
Scientists believe it takes 21 days to form a new habit and complaining is habitual for most of us. As Twain said, we must coax our old behavior down the stairs. The purple bracelet is a powerful tool to remind you of how well you are creating your life with positive intention - A complaint Free World
What is so wrong with complaining anyway?
I totally agree with Alec Satin's comments in his blog pertaining to 'Why Complaining Hurts You As a Project Manager'- You undermine your leadership.
- You are modeling powerlessness.
- You are providing inconsistent vision.
So, where to now?
Yesterday I monitored my complaints and realized that further definition of the word 'complaint'; the complaining episode and the resultant 'affecting action' was required.- complaint |kəmˈplānt| - [noun] a statement that a situation is unsatisfactory OR the espression grief, pain or discontent
- complain [verb trans.] to express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event
Complaining is not to be confused with informing someone of a mistake or deficiency so that it can be put right. And to refrain from complaining doesn’t necessarily mean putting up with bad quality or behavior. There is no ego in telling the waiter your soup is cold and needs to be heated up—if you stick to the facts, which are always neutral. ‘How dare you serve me cold soup…?’ That’s complaining.” - Eckhart Tolle, “A New Earth”The average person complains 15-30 times a day - however, in addition to recording the actual number of 'complaining events' I will be recording the 'complaint generating stimulus' and the 'appropriateness' of a 'complaining response'.
- ACE [Appropriate Complaining Episode] - Situations or circumstances that evoke a direct negative interpersonal reaction. Examples of such occassions on Day 1 include direct verbal abuse, physical assault and witnessing inappropriate balcony urination
- ICE [Inappropriate complaining episodes] - Systemic or climatic complaints. These include external/internal situations that are unlikely to be altered/affected by a direct complaint e.g. 'It is so hot, I hate this stifling heat' 'I don't think you should wear eye shadow to match your nail polish'
- DC [Direct Complaints] - 'Healthy communication skills' - Appropriate communication by speaking directly to a person that can affect the change you seek. 'waiter, my soup is cold' 'I would appreciate it if you stopped poking my thigh with cocktail sticks'
- IDC [Indirect Complaint] - 'Bitching, backbiting, whining, winging' - inappropriate discussion of events impacting on an individual in a negative manner with other persons - ultimately resulting in no change to the status quo and more agitation on behalf of the complainant
- MACE - My Accumulated Complaining Episodes [64]
- ACE/ICE ratio - 12/52 [0.237]
- DC/IDC ratio - 4/60 [0.066]
Turn that frown upside-down
So - my primary aim is to turn my 'fractions' into whole numbers!! In the first week I will try to be positive enough to 'even up' my ACE/ICE and DC/IDC ratios. I will try the 'rubber band technique' in combination with the 'algorithmic technique'.- Rubber band technique [Purple Bracelet] - Take a rubber band and place it on your right wrist. For the rest of the day, let part of your mind be aware of what you are saying (or typing) to others. The next time you find yourself griping, moaning or bitching about anything at all, move the rubber band to your left wrist, and leave it there for the remainder of the day. If you can get through even one complete day, you are in good shape!
- Algorithmic technique - Continuous mathematical correlation of daily events and interactions creating a subconscious haze [akin to an alcoholic stupor] leaving you unwilling or unable to think or utter inappropriate negative thoughts for fear of computational implosion
Feel free to join me in this quest
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDM3PZTLjvA]
More videos and explanation at the Complaint Free World YouTube site
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